Faith vs. Fear

Although I have great faith that Holden is going to be okay, there are times that my "fear of the unknown" gets the best of me and I worry that something is wrong.

Two days after we got back from Disney World, Holden was not quite himself. I noticed his breathing was slightly more labored and that he was requiring oxygen again 24 hours a day (as opposed to the 6 hours off of oxygen just 2 days prior). I suspected he may be coming down with a cold and/or teething, but I couldn't get the fear/concern out of my head.

By that weekend, it was obvious that Holden had picked up a cold AND was cutting a tooth. So the double whammy explained the need for more oxygen. Needless to say, it was a challenging week. Holden was not sleeping well. He refused to eat or drink. Even his speech seemed to change, where he was talking less. I felt like we had taken a huge step back from all the progress he made over the summer.

Fortunately, we had a pre-scheduled appointment with Holden's cardiologist. After a check up and echocardiogram, Dr. Kim was able to confirm that there was no change to Holden's pulmonary veins (thank God), which means it is likely that the cold and tooth were indeed the cause of Holden's recent changes. This certainly helped put my mind at ease! It has been about 1 1/2 weeks now and Monkey is finally getting back to his baseline. He is sleeping through the night again, oxygen is almost back to where is was, and he is starting to entertain eating and drinking again. And while I am not sure why I let my fears get the best of me, I have to wonder if it is ultimately facing our fears that deepens our faith!

We had a great visit with Grandma Deda this past weekend. Holden tired Grandma out as he climbed up and down the stairs - every opportunity he could and was walking everywhere, by holding onto Grandma's hand. He loved all the walks with Grandma pushing him in his little red car!

Saturday we went to Daddy and Grandpa's ALTA Tennis match and then came home to watch both the LSU and Gator games!

I'm looking forward to the great Fall weather we are supposed to have this week (as opposed to last week's floods), so we can play outside and get some yard work done!