Surrounded by LOVE this Christmas...

Merry Christmas to all of our friends and family. I think Holden had a great Christmas. Although he was not that into opening the presents, he did love seeing what was inside! But I would have to say that his favorite thing was playing with his family. He is one social little monkey.




On Christmas Eve we went to Aunt JoJo and Uncle Steve's new house for a celebration with my side of the family. Holden immediately found Ariana and Alyssa's toys - looking for anything with wheels. I laughed as he dumped the Barbies out of the Barbie car and immediately started driving the car along the floor! And he had fun pushing the baby doll around in it's stroller. Of course he's learning to play rough with his boy cousins, Robbie and Richie, and loving every minute of it. It is great to see him able to keep up with them!



Christmas with my family is always fun, but chaotic with all of the kids running around. But among the chaos, I found myself smiling as I thought about how blessed we are to be surrounded by such a loving family.

We somehow convinced Holden to sleep in a bit on Christmas morning, as Santa was up late. He was so excited when he came downstairs and saw that Santa brought him a John Deer Tractor and Trailer. We had to laugh...Santa forgot that the battery had to charge for a full 24 hours, so the little guy didn't know it was battery-powered until the next day! Fortunately, Daddy pushing was just as good as having it battery-powered.

Christmas afternoon we headed to Rome, GA to celebrate with the Parker side of the family. I was so happy for Holden to get to know Reece's Grannie, Aunts, Uncles and cousins better. He made himself at home rather quickly and had every one of Aunt Marcy's Christmas dolls/toys making noise. It was the perfect evening and a great reminder of what Christmas is all about. Spending time with those you love.

The next morning we packed up and headed to Brevard NC to see Holden's Granma Deda! We were excited to find snow still on the ground, but even more excited to spend a couple days with Granma and Sam!

Holden was thrilled to see the playhouse Granma made for him. He had hours of fun, going in and out and peeking out the windows at us. At one point, he even took a pillow inside, in case he wanted to take a nap! But he was having way too much fun to take time out to sleep.

Although it was pretty cold outside, Granma's house was comfortable, warm and full of love! It was hard having to say goodbye to head back to GA!

Other than losing Alex, 2009 has really been a good year, especially when it comes to Holden! Our little Monkey continues to amaze his doctors as he grows - getting stronger and healthier every day. And while none of us really know what the future holds, I am looking forward to enjoying each day the new year brings with high hopes that it will be a healthy, happy and prosperous 2010!

And I wish the same for all of you! Thank you for still reading our blog, but mostly, for all of the wonderful thoughts and prayers you've said for Holden, Reece and I these past 2 years. We are so blessed to have you in our lives! God Bless you!

Believing is seeing

I know most people say "Seeing is Believing", but I like to think that BELIEVING IS SEEING.

We took Holden to see Santa at Stone Mountain Christmas tonight. As we stood in line, I couldn't help but think how blessed we are. Holden has come so far since last Christmas. I remember crying when we visited with Santa last year. Holden had just gotten out of the hospital. He was, of course, on oxygen. He was on the feeding pump 20 hours a day. And we had been given a bleak prognosis for the future.

Some of the doctors had told us that Holden would likely be on the oxygen indefinitely. I think about how we could have held on to what those doctors were saying. We could have given up and started telling Holden to get used to wearing his nasal cannula. We could have quoted the medical statistics and sat around feeling sorry for ourselves. But rather, we had faith in the unknown. We believed it would be possible for Holden to wean off the oxygen. We tried to live each day with optimism instead of pessimism. We continued HOLDEN FAITH and I am so glad.

While I respect everyone's right to live and think the way they want, I have never understood why some people prefer to live in a world of negativity. Why would you want to wake up each day preparing for doom and gloom rather than believing anything is possible. I can tell you that I would have had trouble getting out of bed these past two years if I let myself believe the worst for Holden.

I believe that Holden will be able to do anything he puts his mind to. And unless health problems prove to get in the way, I plan to encourage him to try whatever he wants, including sports. At this point, he has been cleared to participate in all activities with no restrictions. So unless/until we uncover a problem, why would I speculate or discourage him from anything? For me believing is seeing ... and I believe.

Saying good-bye is hard to do...

... It is with a heavy heart that I write this week's blog. Our dog, Alex, was struck and killed by a car on Monday evening. I keep thinking it was a bad dream and wake up each morning expecting him to greet Holden and I and give us kisses. Alex was part of our family and we will miss him dearly. And while Alex was sweet to Holden and I, he was definitely Daddy's dog. Alex always wanted to be wherever Reece was. They were definitely buds!
I realize that Alex was a pet, however, we treated him like our child. I know that is hard for some people to understand (or accept), but that was what we wanted. He would have been 4 years old this January. Although it was a short life, it was a good one. He was mainly an indoor dog and made himself comfortable throughout the house. He got 1-2 walks a day. He loved when we would take him to the dog park or for rides in the car. He went on several vacations with us and loved exploring new places. But most importantly, he loved us unconditionally. He would have done anything to make us happy. He accepted Holden from the moment he met him and was protective of the newest member of his pack. And ever since I've been home with Holden, Alex has been a huge part of our day. Holden can not quite say Alex, so he called him "Al". The past couple of mornings, Holden walked around the house calling Al. And then he'd go to the pantry and get Alex's treats and call him again. I've told Holden that Alex is with God. We have a little German Shepherd Angel Christmas ornament that we've put on the tree. Holden pointed at the ornament this morning and said "Al". I said, "Yes, Alex is now an Angel."

We will miss you sweet Alex. RIP

Happy Belated Thanksgiving

It has been a busy, but great week. I have spent a lot of time thinking about how much I have to be thankful for this year! Holden is doing great and continues to make progress every day. He has been blessed with improved health and I feel so blessed to be his Mommy.

We had Thanksgiving dinner at our house. There were 16 of us total. This was the first get together we've had since Holden was born, where I actually cooked (instead of ordering platters or having it catered) and I have to admit, it was challenging. I spend most of my days playing with (or chasing) Holden. So most of my preparations had to take place during naps or after he went to bed. Fortunately, dinner turned out well. We had 2 turkeys. I roasted one and Reece fried the other. It is pretty amazing how I spent hours roasting my turkey, between prep and baking and Reece was able to prep and fry his in less than an hour. And I have to admit, it tasted just as good! Between all the sides we made and what my family brought, there was plenty (okay, way too much) of delicious food. Holden was having so much fun playing with his cousins, that it was hard to get him to sit still long to eat, but he did pretty well. His favorite seemed to be the corn and the green bean casserole! I hope his love of veggies lasts!

Unfortunately, my camera broke, so I don't have any new photos to post. But picture this..Holden with his cousins, Robbie, Richie, Melina, Ariana and Alyssa - all running in circles around our house. Some were riding Holden's trucks, some pulling Holden in a mini wagon and everyone running (and screaming) at one point or another. Instead of it being a "Calgon Take Me Away moment", it was a moment I'll remember forever. This was the first time they have all been together since he started walking (and running!). And I loved seeing the little Monkey keep up with everyone.

So it has been a great week full of family, good food, blessings and love. And to each of you, I want to say thank you. I am so lucky to have you in my life and I thank you for your positive thoughts and prayers. I would love to hear about your Thanksgiving and how things are going for you. This is true for those of you I know and friends I've yet to meet. Please feel free to send me an email at reeceandchristine@yahoo.com . I look forward to hearing from you!

Enjoying the moments

Holden is feeling better and is having a good week. We're getting back into our routine - which of course was off because of his cold. Now we just need to get rid of the rain so we get back into our daily walks and outside play.

I am so happy that Monkey is back in his loving mode again. He used to like giving hugs and kisses, and then one day, he just stopped. He suddenly seemed to prefer head butts and high fives as a way of affection. Lucky for Mommy, my sweet boy is back. The other night, he made a little game out of running back and forth between Mommy and Daddy giving each of us hugs. He could have played all night. And honestly, I could have too!!

Holden was invited to his friend Nathan's 2nd Birthday Party last Saturday. It was in a pavilion at a local park and the weather was gorgeous. Monkey was running everywhere and having a blast playing with all the kids. The pavilion was right next to the playground and it didn't take long for Holden to want to explore this "new and exciting" area. Although he's been on swings and a slide here and there, it was always in a controlled fashion, so Mommy could wipe everything down with wet ones to get rid of the germs. But this time, it all happened so fast and he's way more mobile - so Mommy just went with it and let him have fun. He was fearless. He climbed right up and went straight for the slide. Just before sliding down he'd reach for my hand and then laugh as Mommy helped pull him down. I'd sneak in wiping his hands with the wet ones, and then back up he'd go! I remember telling myself "it's okay", just enjoy the moment.

We were sad to hear that our friend Miss Joan, passed away last week. Joan was Granma Deda's dear friend and had been battling cancer for the past couple of years. We met her several years ago and it didn't take long for me to realize that she was truly an angel here on earth. She came to meet Holden this past Spring. She was great with him and he warmed up to her very quickly. She told me that she asked God to take her and let Holden live. I was touched beyond belief that she would say something so selfless. And you could tell she meant it. Through my tears, I told her that there was no reason that God couldn't perform two miracles!

I am so glad Holden (and all of us) got to spend more time with Joan when we went to Brevard in August. Miss Joan was Holden's favorite person as she pushed him all around in his little red car! I feel very fortunate to have known such an amazing woman.!

What a week...

It has been a challenging week. Holden started to show signs of getting sick on Sunday. By early Monday morning, he had a fever of 102.5 and just wanted to be held. I called his pediatrician's office and they told me to bring him in. His pediatrician was on vacation, so we saw another doctor who has never met Holden and is not familiar with his history. This is where things got a little crazy. Although his lungs sounded clear, she sent us for a chest x-ray. Fast forward a couple hours, Monkey is feeling puny, is tired, still has a fever and is getting cranky. The doctor walks back in and tells us that he has bi-lateral pneumonia. I honestly didn't even freak out, because I couldn't believe it. While he was definitely sick, I've seen him with pneumonia and this was different. There was some talk about sending him to the hospital, but I quickly asked the doctor to consult with his pulmonologist - who has been treating Holden since he was born and knows Holden extremely well.

His pulmonologist agreed that is did not sound like pneumonia and asked me to bring him in the morning to Scottish Rite for blood work and to be tested for the flu(s)- and then to see her. Dr. Brooks ruled out pneumonia pretty quickly. The blood work showed that Holden's white blood cell count was high and he likely had a virus. But he had to wait over 24 hours to find out that he did NOT have a flu. Great News!! And the best news was from his chest x-ray. We compared the most recent with the last one (from 12/08) and you can see how much his lungs have healed and improved (thank you, God). This explains why we've been able to increase his time off of the O2. Most days he is now off 8-10 hours!

So it looks like he has a virus/cold. Other than the normal symptoms you'd expect, he's handling it great. I've turned his oxygen up slightly, just to give him some additional support. And we're letting him go without oxygen for 3o minutes here and there, but basically keeping it on him as much as we can, until he gets over this. He has not been sleeping well the past couple of nights so we are both walking around tired and cranky! But I'm thrilled that this cold is not affecting him the way it did last year.

Even a cold can't hold little Monkey back from his new found freedom - running!! He's a fast little guy. He reminds me of the baby in the Huggie's commercial. Mommy needs her running shoes!!

Social Little Monkey

As I was posting these pictures, it occurred to me that a stranger looking at these images would have no idea of all that Holden has overcome. They would have no idea that our Little Monkey is achieving things that some doctors said he could never do. But how amazing that we are where we are today. I love watching Holden play with his friends because they treat him just like any other kid. Fortunately, we are going in that direction, and in many ways, he is now just like any other kid. Hopefully soon, there will be no difference, other than he'll have quite a story to tell someday!

We (especially Monkey) had a big weekend. Holden's friends Alaina and Nathan (and their friends Leah and Lindsey) came over to our house for Halloween. The kids had pizza, played and then we all went Trick or Treating as a group. Holden was Mickey Mouse. Although I was bummed that his Mickey ears were droopy, I still thought he looked adorable.

Nathan was Nemo and Alaina was Jasmine. They all looked precious. Between the 3 of them, they could be in a Disney ad!! It is fun to watch Holden with Alaina. She is able to make him smile and giggle like crazy. We ask Holden if she is his girlfriend. And his Mom and I are already planning the wedding!
Holden first went to visit Ms. Carol and Mr. Ken. The first couple of houses he did not get the concept of accepting candy. Rather, he thought we were there to visit and would try to get into the house. He soon caught on and would politely select one piece of candy from each person and drop it in his bucket!


Holden did great walking for most of the night. He would occasionally lose his balance and fall on his rear. And since it was raining/wet, his costume absorbed lots of water! But that didn't hold him back for one second.

We got to see his friends Maddie and Max who also looked adorable!

On Sunday, our friends the Counts and the Leigners came over for dinner. Holden finally got to meet Ryan and Brennen (and Ms. Betsy). The boys played great together. While on one hand, the boys were not too rough (treating him like any 20 month old infant), but they also acted like "boys"- playing football and wrestling with Monkey, treating him just like any other kid. And Holden loved it.

What a difference a year makes!!

By the book...

I have always been a do things "by the book" kind of girl. So I, of course, thought I would be a "buy the book" kind of Mom. It wasn't long after Holden was born, I stopped reading the baby books. I found them depressing and the advice really didn't apply to our situation. But now that Holden is doing so much better, I have found myself referring to and reading the baby/toddler books again. The funny thing is, I've learned to read the advice, but ultimately you need to modify things to what works best for your child.

This certainly applies to Holden's eating. Now that he's walking, he thinks he has much better things to do than to sit still and eat. Everything I've read and professionals that I've talked to, say do not turn it into a battle. So I encourage Monkey to eat, but I know when to call it quits. Unfortunately, because of his medical issues, I also need to make sure he has steady growth. So I find myself following him around the house (following the meal) offering him more food. It turns out, once he's distracted with his toys, he'll open his mouth for Mommy. Not quite what I prefer, but I am doing what I have to do. So if you happen to come over and find a fruit loop or fishie cracker on our hardwoods, you'll know why!!

And while Holden may not be too much into eating right now, he likes to encourage Alex to eat. And when Alex doesn't eat, Holden likes to throw his dog food all over the floor! We are definitely working on the word "NO"!

Saturday is going to be a busy but fun day. We have the FL/GA game (go Gators) and then Holden is having some friends over for Pizza before Trick or Treating as a group. Monkey is going to be Mickey Mouse. I think his costume is adorable. I'll be sure to post lots of pictures next week. I hope everyone has a safe, but fun Halloween!!

Inspiration

Maybe it is because we've traveled such a rocky road, or maybe it is because I wanted so much to be a mom, but I go to bed each night looking forward to the next day with Holden. I've seen how quickly life can change and I don't want to take a second for granted. I hope Holden's journey can inspire others to appreciate the good in their life and to have faith.

Holden had a great week. He is walking on his own. It is the cutest thing. Reece calls it his Frankenstein walk. He is so proud of himself that he stops every dozen steps or so to clap. I love it when he starts to lose his balance and grabs onto Alex. Alex seems to be enjoying being able to look his playmate in the eyes!

Aunt Sheila came in town for a visit this past weekend. We had a great time. We went to visit Sha, Andre and Zander, shopped, enjoyed some time at the spa, watched the Gator game and spent lots of time playing with Holden. Monkey loves his Aunt Sheila. He giggled like crazy every time she snorted like a piggy.

Holden's latest obsession is "outside". We've been enjoying the Fall weather. He loves pushing his big red truck all around our cul-da-sac. We got a Diego watering can and shovel so little man can help Mommy plant and water our flowers. He's been doing well off his oxygen. He's been off for as long as 9 hours and managed to maintain high sats! He continues to amaze me daily!

Dancing Monkey, Walking Monkey, Happy Monkey

I can't believe it has been nearly 2 weeks since I've blogged. I actually started this entry yesterday and while writing it, I got a call from my friend Tonya. She was calling with some sad news, saying that another heart baby that we knew, Dalton, had passed away. The news took my breath away. It is just so hard to understand why these little babies, who have had to endure so much, don't get to stay with us longer. I hugged Holden and didn't want to let him go. Of course now that he's starting to take steps on his own, he didn't want to be held still. I ask that you keep Dalton and the Spencer family in your prayers.

Since I last wrote, Holden's cold turned into toncillitis and a sinus infection. The poor kid had giant swollen tonsils and pretty much refused to eat or drink. Fortunately, we were able to feed him with the feeding pump. Even with that, he still lost a couple of ounces. After 10 days of an antibiotic, he is finally feeling better. I pray that he's eating will continue to improve.

Holden went with us to Wendy and Matt's wedding last Saturday. He had a great time at the reception. He was a walking and dancing little monkey and was flirting with all the ladies! I loved seeing him so social and happy. And I have to give it to the little guy, he has got some great rhythm! We know he definitely did not get that from his Daddy!! The wedding (and the bride) were beautiful.

We had a play date with Nathan at Stone Mountain Park's Pumpkin Festival. The boys liked seeing all the pumpkins and decor. Both of them loved the train ride. We were not able to stay long, but I hope to make it back before the end of the month.

I love seeing Holden's little personality blossom. Everyday is something new. He is starting to say a couple more words now. He seems to be understanding the difference between yes and no and will answer when asked a question. A couple of weeks ago, everything was no. Now most things are yes. And he sounds so cute when he says it..."Yaah". He is obsessed with climbing stairs, riding in his little red car and pushing his trailer and dump truck outside. It is great to see him so happy! And I don't take one single day for granted. I love my dancing, walking, happy little Monkey!

Faith vs. Fear

Although I have great faith that Holden is going to be okay, there are times that my "fear of the unknown" gets the best of me and I worry that something is wrong.

Two days after we got back from Disney World, Holden was not quite himself. I noticed his breathing was slightly more labored and that he was requiring oxygen again 24 hours a day (as opposed to the 6 hours off of oxygen just 2 days prior). I suspected he may be coming down with a cold and/or teething, but I couldn't get the fear/concern out of my head.

By that weekend, it was obvious that Holden had picked up a cold AND was cutting a tooth. So the double whammy explained the need for more oxygen. Needless to say, it was a challenging week. Holden was not sleeping well. He refused to eat or drink. Even his speech seemed to change, where he was talking less. I felt like we had taken a huge step back from all the progress he made over the summer.

Fortunately, we had a pre-scheduled appointment with Holden's cardiologist. After a check up and echocardiogram, Dr. Kim was able to confirm that there was no change to Holden's pulmonary veins (thank God), which means it is likely that the cold and tooth were indeed the cause of Holden's recent changes. This certainly helped put my mind at ease! It has been about 1 1/2 weeks now and Monkey is finally getting back to his baseline. He is sleeping through the night again, oxygen is almost back to where is was, and he is starting to entertain eating and drinking again. And while I am not sure why I let my fears get the best of me, I have to wonder if it is ultimately facing our fears that deepens our faith!

We had a great visit with Grandma Deda this past weekend. Holden tired Grandma out as he climbed up and down the stairs - every opportunity he could and was walking everywhere, by holding onto Grandma's hand. He loved all the walks with Grandma pushing him in his little red car!

Saturday we went to Daddy and Grandpa's ALTA Tennis match and then came home to watch both the LSU and Gator games!

I'm looking forward to the great Fall weather we are supposed to have this week (as opposed to last week's floods), so we can play outside and get some yard work done!

Holden's 1st Visit to Disney World

So it's true, Disney is even better when you get to experience it through the eyes of your child! We had a great trip and all-in-all, Holden did great.

Between all of the character meals and park meet & greets, Monkey got to meet just about every character. He would start off shy, but once he got comfortable, he would clap and he even hi-fived Goofy!


I was so happy that my sister Joanne and her family were able to make the trip with us. I loved watching the girls interact with Holden. He adores them and he definitely liked seeing Ariana and Alyssa dressed in their cute little Minnie Mouse dresses. He lets Melina hold him and seems to remember the time she spent with us on our road trip in July! He does great with Aunt JoJo (he loves when she's silly) and he constantly cracks up with Uncle Steve.








Holden did great on all of the rides. We started off at "Small World". His eyes were as big as saucers and he looked liked a little bobble head doll as he turned in all directions and tapped his fingers to the beat of the song! I will remember that ride forever!

Holden did so well on all the kiddie rides that we even took him on the Haunted Mansion and Pirates of the Caribbean! Just more smiles! He's amazing!


The shows were hit or miss with him. I think a combination it being so loud and having to sit still for so long, make the shows less appealing than the attractions at this age. He did love the Playhouse Disney show at Hollywood Studios. It had puppets and music for the couple of Disney shows he watches...Mickey Mouse Club House, Little Einsteins and My Friends Tigger and Pooh.

And while the trip was fun, I have to admit, going with a 19-month old did pose some challenges! When we planned the trip 6 months ago, I thought Holden would be fully walking by now (he walks by holding your finger, but still prefers to crawl). So it was hard to keep the active little guy content riding around in a stroller for so many hours! Fortunately, there were several of us to hold him when he got fidgety. And the fact that it rained every day we were there, did not help! He was also cutting yet another canine tooth, so he would often refuse to eat. I guess we were lucky that he at least ate snacks: french fries, popcorn and ice cream (yes, I know how awful that sounds. But the tooth finally cut and he's back to eating normal healthy meals!).

So things did not necessarily go perfectly, but we still had an amazing time and I will remember Holden's 1st visit to Disney World (and his precious smile) for the rest of my life!